What is the funniest joke you've been told that you still think about to this day?

At that point, a woman enters, stands at the other end, and orders a drink. Brian, the bartender says, “Oh, Vicky, it’s going to be a long, tiring night.”

Two blokes are sitting at the end of a bar. One orders a drink. The other one says, “From your voice, I’d guess you’re from Ireland.”

“So am I. And from where in Ireland might you be?” says the first.

Why can't I lose weight?

“The Murphy twins are drunk again.”

“A lovely little area of the old part of town, McCleary Street.”

I’m from Dublin, I am.”

How do professional musicians handle their equipment during gigs? Do they bring their own or use the venue's sound system?

“Faith and begorrah. What a small world. So did I. And to what school would you school would you have been going?”

“Oh, let me see now. ’Twas 1964, it was.”

“Yes, that I am,” says the second.

How come I can't stay sober?

The first fellow is now beside himself. “The good Lord must be smiling on us. Imagine that the two of us should be meeting here, having grown up on the same street, gone to the same school, and graduated in the same year.”

“As did I,” the first bloke says, getting very excited. “And what year did you graduate?”

“Now why would you be saying that, Brian?”

Do you think the constitution and laws should be taught in school?

“Mother Mary. And on what street in Dublin did you live?”

“Well, to St. Mary’s, of course.”